i turned the stick pink

Yep, that's right... Baby #2 is on the way. We haven't told many people past our family and will likely make more announcements once we are a little further past two estimated weeks a long. This was in our master plan, perhaps we had hoped to be moved into our new "owned" home in Minnesota before conceiving, but does life ever go as planned? So we are thrilled and making plans to move sooner than later (no more hopes of earning some extra income from rent).

While I am over the moon, I am faced with some new emotions...

* Fear of our first feeling like she is second - while it's an inevitble part of life to feel second fiddle, jealous and left out, you never want your baby to feel these things.

* Fear that I couldn't possibly have enough love to love a second child the way I do my first child. I've never felt love like this - you can't until you've been a mom - the kind of love for a being you created that makes your heart almost explode. Will it actually explode with #2? My mother explains that our hearts just grow and you just "do" love another the same way. Another friend reminded me that your first will always hold a special place in your heart as the child that gave us our names "Mom and Dad." While this gives me comfort, I still fear that #2 will feel left out of this special time. Likely #2 will be our last kiddo, so they will hold the title as "Baby."

I am currently watching my little one emptying out her toy basket all over the living room floor. She climbed into the basket to do this first and I marvel at how grown up she seems at only 13 months old. Will she like being a big sister? Will she show her new sibling how to climb into the toy basket and empty it? Will she turn the pages of her favorite books for her new brother or sister? Will she want to help take care of this new addition, or be completely put off?

There is nothing I can do about any of these thoughts, except to be healthy and enjoy the next 40 (no, 38) weeks with my little one. Do my best to prepare her for our new family member and give her lots and lots of hugs and kisses.