letters to my former self

To join in the letter writing fun, visit Raising Madison

Dear 7 year old Cambria,
Give your daddy lots of hugs. He is very sick. And while he will recover this time, later in life the disease will take his life. You will cry often as he will miss the two most important happenings of your life. While he will drive you mad at times, make sure you tell him you love him everyday.

Dear 14 year old Cambria,
This year you entered high school. You will still be taller than most of the kids and painfully shy. You will make some life long friends, but also befriend some that are careless with your heart. While I know these are lessons we learn as we grow up, and it's not in your nature to be confrontational, be sure to stick up for yourself and not let those who are careless hurt you.

This year, also, your parents will separate and enter into some, not so pretty, divorce proceedings. It's not your business. It's not your fault. It's just life. Your parents still love you dearly, even though they may not love each other the same way they once did.

Dear 18 year old Cambria,
Stay away from that guy. He's more trouble than you realize.

Dear 21 year old Cambria,
This year you will finally go away to school in San Francisco. You've been dreaming of this day. And you will get home sick and want to go back, but stick to it. It will be the best experience of your life and you, in time, will leave and return to start the next phases of your life.

Oh, and whole it took near two years to ditch that bad guy, you will start dating someone else, who, while fun, is ultimately not worth the effort you will put forth. Be a strong woman and move forward in life. Love may be some years away, but it will come, I promise.

Dear 28 year old Cambria,
Time for a career change. But you also need to stop consuming your whole self into your jobs. You are young and there is so much more to life than your job. Take a deep breath and follow your passion.

Dear 32 year old Cambria,
Your whole world flips upside down this year. And all I can advise is to hang on tight. This year your father's illness will return with a vengeance. You will meet the man of your dreams. You will become pregnant. You will be laid off from your job. You will watch your father exhale his last breath, losing his battle with cancer. And you will deliver your first beautiful baby girl. Life's extremes in a period of 12 months. Be sure to let yourself grieve. Learn to lean on others for assistance. There are many that love you and want to be there for you.

Dear (almost) 35 year old Cambria,
This year you bought your first home. Delivered your second daughter. And moved across the country. Things are tough with two children under two and its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But know that they aren't little forever. Someday they will sleep through the night. And the terrible twos will pass. Remember to ask for help and take time for yourself without feeling guilty.


Looking back at my life as I write these letters, I am reminded that hind sight is 20/20. But also, the mishaps along the way are what have made me who I am today. Sure, I would give anything to have my dad back, if only for a minute. But it was a privilege to know him, love him and be with him as he passed. But he helped make me me.





-- Post From My iPad