Saturday, October 2, 2010

back to work anxiety

I have not worked in the traditional sense in near three years. When I was three months pregnant with Hadley the start-up company I was working for did a round of layoffs, in which I was a casualty of (I had not yet shared my news of baby). A month later, my dad passed away and I have been consumed in the business of his estate, his business, babies and the occasional writing assignment, in addition to this blog.

So when the possibility of a "blogging" bonus based internship arose, it seemed like a good opportunity. My past career was with companies with formal marketing plan, but my forte has been grassroots marketing, and my interests have fallen within how to use the internet to promote a product. I do this, after all, as a hobby.

Back to the blogging position... Basically, it's a three month (or so) internship providing content for a company's blog, helping them gain exposure, build market share... So on and so forth. UP MY ALLEY! I sent my resume on Wednesday, interviewed and asked to come in on Monday (I think) to get started. FUN!

But I have a lot of anxiety. And I know I am risking this company reading this, but I'm putting it out there. I AM NERVOUS! Not about the job, about leaving my kids four days a week in the afternoon. I know it will be good for them. And their dad. And for me. But I am anxious.

I took a step back and asked myself this question... If I didn't have kids, or if I just had Hadley, who is two and very interested in daycare, would I do this? Absolutely! Even though I am over qualified in the marketing sense? Absolutely. I want to see if blogging and social marketing can be a honest to goodness career, and here is an opportunity to see if it can be.

I really have nothing to lose, except four hours a day that could be with my kids. But let's face it. I'M ALWAYS WITH MY KIDS. And for my own sanity, this will probably be one of the best things I could do for myself.

But I'm still anxious.

Working mama's out there, how did you deal with going back to work anxiety?

P.S. Prior to our last move I donated all my work attire. I had to go shopping. I have one business appropriate outfit. I need to do more. Shoot!

1 comment:

  1. Your mom, me, did the same thing. Back to work when you were just 3 months old. Trauma - no other word for it. Even though I, like you, had a great support system in your dad, it was the most traumatic day of my life. When I got home, you were happy, clean, dry and we went on from that day forward.

    You will no doubt arrive at work with some cereal and snotty unidentifiable markings on you that others will say "uck" but they are reminders that your babies love you and will be awaiting your return


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