19 months old

To My Hadley,

I have written to you in the past as we hit the age milestones and I am regretful to say that I have not been good about doing so as of late. But I am going to attempt to be better, even if it means that these little notes happen quarterly or annually.

Yesterday you turned 19 months and I just can not believe how quickly time goes by. Every day I am awed by your growth, both physically and mentally. Your daddy and I spend so much time just watching you. That's all. Just watching. Whether you are sleeping. Putting your dolls "night night." Talking or dancing. It's amazing that we made you, grew you and taught you these things.

The last couple of months have been busy, to say the least. And I don't mean with our activities, just with your behavior. You are a curious little girl who wants to be independent and big. Which I love about you, but also miss that little person who needs her mommy. And, often, just as I start licking my wounds, you come back and hold my hand, or throw your arms around my legs and I remember that you still need me.

In December, we went to Boston to see your Grandma and Aunties and meet your Grandpa for the first time. Your settled right in with your family and had a ball! It was chilly, but we were able to go to the park and play in the leaves. But more importantly, you got to know your Grandpa, he’s the only one you have (and he looks a bit like Santa, doesn’t he?).

In January, Mommy and Daddy went to Minnesota to set up our new home for our move in June. We left you with Grandma for five nights. FIVE WHOLE NIGHTS! It was an eternity, but you were a champ. And you learned that sleeping all night in your own bed, in your own room was pretty cool. We've been home for a month and you have slept every night in your own bed. I am so proud of you, but also miss waking up and seeing your sweet little sleeping face next to me, often with your hand down my shirt (while you no longer nurse, you have yet to give up the boob).

Baby Sister’s arrival is fast approaching. While I am nervous about how you are going to feel about her, I am certain you are going to be mommy’s little helper (based on the way you take care of your six baby dolls). I fear that the time that will be required for Baby Sissy initially will upset you and make you feel second fiddle, which you will never be. While you can never understand this now, I hope someday you will realize the special bond that you and I have. You gave me my name. You made me a mom. Only you can hold that title.

Well, my love, I am looking at you laying on the floor with your little legs in the air singing. You play with your blocks. Then put your baby “night night.” Then walk your pull doggy. Then come over for a snuggle. And I wonder how we can start our day with a picked up living room and so quickly spread the toys far and wide. But it’s all worth it. Every toy. Every crumb of a snack. Or an empty sippy cup. You are worth it all and so much more!

I love you so much!

Momma