frustration

It's official... I've hit that third week frustration.  I remember it well with Hadley... The tears. Threats to throw in the towel on nursing. Feelings of being a bad mommy.  But I also remember things suddenly getting better, and I hope that is the same case.

Hayden and I are on and off with nursing success.  The nipple shield is working.  But the supplemental nursing system I paid $35 for is proving to be more trouble than it's worth (and I doubt they will take it back after it has been pressed against my boob).  

But our biggest challenge is finding the right timing.  Between a curious big sister and her activities, a house with no doors that latch or lock properly, it is almost impossible to find alone time with the babe to relax and try to nurse properly.  Instead, I find myself with a very angry newborn, boobs leaking to my knees, Hadley hanging on to my legs and me in tears, trying to heat a bottle of breast milk to soothe Hayden.  Frustrating is the only word I can think of.

Tonight, Jonathan and I decided that I need to take Hayden to a hotel and nurse. And nurse. And nurse. And nurse.  I hope it's a success. And I hope this family, as a whole, gets some good sleep tonight.  We are all a little rough around the edges.